Portrait of a citizen.

[Text and photo by Mayank Austen Soofi]

The elderly citizen is sitting cross-legged on a low platform outside the Sufi shrine of Hazrat Chirag Naseeruddin Roshan Dehlvi. The shrine gives its name to the larger South Delhi locality around it. Introducing himself as Chand Baba, the man graciously agrees to take part in our Proust Questionnaire series, in which citizens are nudged to make “Parisian parlour confessions”, all to explore our distinct experiences.

The principal aspect of your personality.
I live by this dargah. Why should I lie? I beg, I ask for alms from the visiting pilgrims. I use the money I collect to support my family in zila Jaunpur in UP. My wife, our son, his wife and their three children. I send them money on the phone.

Your favorite qualities in a person.
I cannot see the qualities of people. I don’t have roshni (light) in my eyes.

Your main fault.
I cannot see. Sometimes I feel it is God’s punishment for something wrong I did. But then I realise it is not the case. All the people around me, they all can see. So they see things that are good, but they also see things that are bad. They see bad things on the mobile phone. I don’t. I’m saved from that. I’m protected by God.

What would be your greatest misfortune?
It has already happened. It was in 2014. One night I had a high fever. I took a medicine and my roshni went away. It must have been a very strong medicine.

The natural talent you’d like to be gifted with.
To get the roshni back. But it is not possible. The nerves behind my eyes have completely dried up. No chance.

Your favorite occupation.
I had another life before I became a dargah fakeer. I used to play the harmonium in my village. I would also sing. I would be invited to perform in mehfils and weddings. Even today, when I have a strong urge, I sing in the dargah.

Before you lost your sight, did you have any favourite colours?
I used to like green and black colours.

Your favorite bird.
I like listening to the awaaz (cry) of peacocks.

Your motto in life.
For a long time I have been searching for answers to two questions. They are: Who has seen love? How does love look like?